San Antonio's neighborhoods all have distinct characteristics that make them unique. Because they're so diverse and different, they all deserve a mascot — something that truly represents the area.
We put together this list of “unofficial mascots” representing various neighborhoods around the Alamo City. Some are well-known institutions, some are people and some are just inside jokes or oddities.
Let us know what neighborhood mascots we may have missed!
The unofficial mascots of San Antonio neighborhoods
By Sanford Nowlin on Fri, Sep 6, 2024 at 4:27 pm
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Shutterstock / MACH Photos
North Loopland: The North Star Mall Cowboy Boots.
Mainly because they're one of the few interesting landmarks in Loopland.
Paul Vaughn
Mahnkhe Park: A closed retail or restaurant space sitting vacant for months after a developer took it over.
How fricken long does it take these folks to knock down an old building and put up a high-rise condo?
Sanford Nowlin
Downtown San Antonio: A scooter blocking the sidewalk.
Might as well fill Alamo Plaza with scooters while we’re at it.
Photo via Google Maps
Midtown on Blanco: The traffic circle with the sculpture in the middle that drunks keep plowing into.
How can anyone not notice a giant metal pylon surrounded by concrete in their path?
Shutterstock / Andrey Mihaylov
Stone Oak: A traffic jam.
You don't actually live in Stone Oak. You live in your car.
Shutterstock / Chasecom Media
The Main Strip: A Jello shot.
If you’ve spent time in the clubs here, you know.
Shutterstock / Roberto Galan
Alamo Heights: Daddy’s Texas Cavaliers uniform
“I tell you, Muffy, one day I'll be riding on that river float just like dear old Dad.”
Sanford Nowlin
Broadway North of Downtown: A giant hole in the pavement with guys in hard hats standing or sitting around it.
Anybody remember when this was a drivable stretch of road?
Shutterstock / asseny
Westside Deco District: An extremely aggressive duck at Woodlawn Lake.
If you don’t have crackers, keep it moving, sister.
Shutterstock / MatMazzini
Olmos Park Terrace: A car mostly submerged in floodwaters.
Millions of dollars in floodwater projects later, we’re still drowning.
Sanford Nowlin
St. Mary’s Strip: A newly built condo tower rising above a long-running music venue.
The noise complaints will start the instant the first tenants move in.
Shutterstock / Firaz Andi Ammar
Leon Valley: A red light camera.
Welcome to the suburban surveillance state.
Ismael Rodriguez
King William: A really fancy Fiesta party you’ll never be wealthy enough to get an invite to.
The party is on the lawn to give you even more FOMO as you walk by.
Buena Vista Pictures
Harlandale: A DVD of Blood In, Blood Out.
Harlandale High’s coolest graduate played Cruz Candelaria. Gotta represent.
Shutterstock / Summer_Wind
Windcrest: A home buried under $60,000 in Christmas lights.
Trying to go to sleep inside is like trying to sleep on the surface of the sun.
Sanford Nowlin
Five Points: A schooner full of beer at M.K. Davis.
Does anybody remember when M.K. Davis was the only reason anyone ended near Five Points?
Sanford Nowlin
Olmos Park: A shiny new Olmos Park Police Department SUV.
Get ready to be pulled over for going 2 miles over the speed limit.
San Antonio Current Staff
South Central: A badass lowrider.
It shouldn’t be street legal to be this cool. In fact, it probably isn’t.
Sanford Nowlin
Monte Vista: A $2.3 million mansion that had once been carved up into $400 student apartments.
Didn’t you live there when you were getting the basics out of the way at SAC?
Shutterstock / Reshetnikov_art
Southtown: A kiln
Let's face it, if you're going to move into Southtown you'd better at least pretend you're making art.
Chava Communications
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