Donut chain Dunkin' debuts whitewashed AF breakfast tacos because nothing is sacred

The East Coast chain's breakfast tacos include fire-roasted corn and a drizzle of lime “crema” — and we're pretty confident they're not making their tortillas on-site.

click to enlarge Dunkin’ is now serving breakfast tacos with roasted corn and a drizzle of lime "crema." - Courtesy Photo / Dunkin'
Courtesy Photo / Dunkin'
Dunkin’ is now serving breakfast tacos with roasted corn and a drizzle of lime "crema."

If you're the type of San Antonian who cringed when Taco Bell started offering breakfast at its drive thru, we suggest you take a deep breath and sit down before reading further.

Dunkin’ — you know, the chain that specializes in neon-sprinkle frosted donuts and caramel-drizzled lattes — revealed Wednesday that it's now serving breakfast tacos.

Yes, the Massachusetts-based purveyor of sugary morning treats is now selling whitewashed versions the Alamo City morning staple that feature scrambled eggs, melted sharp white cheddar cheese, fire-roasted corn and a drizzle of lime “crema.” Folks can also opt for a sprinkle of crumbled bacon.

The roasted corn and "crema" sound scary enough until one gets a look at the sad flour tortilla that cradles the filling. From the Dunkin' supplied photos, it's a sure bet they're not made on-site. Indeed, they look rigid and flavorless — something that might double for a drywall patch.

But let's get back to the filling. “As tasty as roasted corn is, why include it in a breakfast taco?” you may ask. Turns out the puzzling addition “sets [Dunkin’s] breakfast tacos apart,” the company trumpeted in a news release.

Well, you're certainly unlikely to see it in South Texas breakfast tacos.

Maybe Dunkin's tacos will move briskly in places like Minneapolis or Des Moines, where the real thing is hard to come by. But it's hard to imagine them earning more than a laugh of derision in SA, where hundreds of locally owned taquerias make their tortillas by hand and don’t include fire-roasted veggies — unless they're part of a rich, complex salsa, of course.

And if you're still thinking the Dunkin' tacos look tasty, perhaps you just haven't acquainted yourself with this city's Tex-Mex scene. Start with these 20 San Antonio taco joints, all of which offer fresh breakfast fuel that will blow the offering of any East Coast chain out of the water.

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