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2012 Best of San Antonio Food Winners List

2012 Best of San Antonio Food Winners List

Best of 2012: 2012 Best of San Antonio Food Winners List 4/25/2012
¡Ask a Mexican!

¡Ask a Mexican!

ASK A MEXICAN: Dear Mexican: I went to a Los Angeles Dodgers game today and noticed that they now have Doyer Dogs, which are fucking disgusting and covered in nacho cheese... By Gustavo Arellano 5/26/2013
Chris Perez, husband of slain Tejana icon Selena, tells of romance, suffering

Chris Perez, husband of slain Tejana icon Selena, tells of romance, suffering

Arts & Culture: In one of the final chapters of his book To Selena, With Love (out March 6), Selena's widower Chris Perez mentions that Abraham Quintanilla, his former father-in-law, once... By Enrique Lopetegui 3/7/2012
Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

Astrology: ARIES (March 21-April 19) “I’m still learning,” said Michelangelo when he was 87 years old. For now, he’s your patron saint. With his unflagging... By Rob Brezsny 5/22/2013
Local Marine Corps Vet Still Awaiting Trial

Local Marine Corps Vet Still Awaiting Trial

News: Maria Anna Esparza fears she’s losing her son, again. In November 2011 the Current chronicled the story of Adan Castañeda, a 27-year-old sniper who... By Michael Barajas 5/22/2013
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Primal Screen

Primal Screen: American idiots

Photo: , License: N/A

Photo: , License: N/A


The TV movie assumes Peterson is guilty, right on the eve of his trial. His lawyers must be outraged, but the rest of us can get a sleazy thrill watching the alleged villain plot his misdeeds. He somehow charmed his beautiful wives (Kaley Cuoco, Cara Buono), so one can only assume that the real Peterson’s mustache looked less repulsive than Lowe’s.

Napoleon Dynamite
7:30 pm Sunday, Fox
The 2004 movie Napoleon Dynamite creates an alternate universe in small-town Idaho, populating it with nerds, weaklings, and morons who are part real and part unreal.  The deadpan tone is beautifully wrought, giving the film an absurdity all its own.

If anybody could translate this tone to an animated TV series, it would be the movie’s writer-directors, Jared and Jerusha Hess, along with the original cast. But the magic eludes them here. Unlike the movie, the series crudely sneers at characters who have little money or sophistication. And unlike the movie’s Napoleon, the TV version (Jon Heder) acknowledges how pathetic he is. “I couldn’t have chickened out with a better guy,” he tells his brother as they run away from a fight.

Napoleon Dynamite would never say such a thing. It feels kind of weird that we know that and the guys who created the character don’t.

Remodeled
8 pm Tuesday, CW
Paul Fisher is a shaved-head New Yorker who thinks he can create “the next generation of supermodels” by grooming them in a network of small-town agencies. In his new reality series, Fisher visits those agencies and screams at the people running them for not meeting his high standards. “This is how you destroy my #$%& reputation!” he bellows, flinging glass to the floor.

Fisher takes himself very seriously, as does the crew of black-clad toadies he surrounds himself with. But I’m sure viewers won’t. It’s hard to see why the guy needs to have Yosemite Sam-style conniption fits over teenage beanpoles whose only requirement is to walk in a straight line wearing tight clothes. (Granted, some of them can’t even manage that feat.)

“It’s NOT FUNNY!” Paul screams at an underling who dares to smile during one of his rants. “It’s my reputation! It’s my name!”

I have to disagree. It is funny.

Dean Robbins covers television entertainment for the Current. Read his longer complete column each week, only at sacurrent.com

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