I scream, you scream… we all scream over Stephen King's 'Bag of Bones'

I’ll admit that the couples seem happy with his work in the series’ new season. But when they look at their wedding albums 10 years from now, I bet they’ll feel a bit strange that almost every shot is of Tutera.

America’s Supernanny (8pm Tuesday, Lifetime)
Nanny reality series wallow in misbehavior, with the nanny expressing stagy horror at the chaotic household she’s come to rescue. The nanny is usually a self-aggrandizing British scold, using the series as a commercial for her superior child-rearing skills.

Not so with the wondrous Deborah Tillman of Virginia. In her new series, Tillman arrives at a troubled home in an elegant dress and a warm yet businesslike mood. She doesn’t condescend to the clueless parents or bully the out-of-control kids, but instead sets to work making things right with common sense and courtesy. She institutes techniques like “The Calm-Down Corner,” where kids can get a break from their overheated emotions. Tillman shows a remarkable sympathy for children, no matter how unpleasant they are. And she admits to a personal stake in creating loving parents, given that her own father abandoned her at age 12.

Storage Wars: Texas (9:30pm Tuesday, A&E)
This new series offers all the — ahem — excitement of A&E’s Storage Wars, but now with Texas accents! It comes on all badass in the title sequence, with an electric guitar grinding out slow blues as we meet bargain-hunters nicknamed the Rangers, the Boss, and the Outsider. If you’re wondering how the concepts of “badass” and “bargain-hunters” go together — well, they really don’t, no matter how many times our heroes say things like “that’s how we roll.”

The would-be players show up at Texas storage units to bid on their contents, hoping to make a few more bucks than they spend by selling the junk to collectors. For example, one of the “Rangers” waddles up to a storage unit in shorts, black socks, glasses, and a baseball cap, his shirt hanging over his enormous belly. He spots action figures and a copy of Lord of the Rings among the former owners’ garbage.
“These guys were card-carrying nerds!” he cackles.

Look who’s talking.

Dean Robbins covers television entertainment for the Current. Read his longer complete column each week, only at sacurrent.com.