Trending
MOST READ
Best Vietnamese Restaurant

Best Vietnamese Restaurant

Best of SA 2013: 4/24/2013

Best Spa

Best of 2013: 4/24/2013
2060: SA looks forward, protects drinking water

2060: SA looks forward, protects drinking water

News: In just 14 years, the City of San Antonio has purchased 125,712 conservation acres over the Edwards Aquifer... By Mark Reagan 9/17/2014
Lost Bar Nails Drunk Food, Sports Bar Vibe

Lost Bar Nails Drunk Food, Sports Bar Vibe

Food & Drink: Much like the cookie-cutter houses that fill the North Side, (most) bars outside of 1604, hell outside 410, tend to have... By Jessica Elizarraras 9/17/2014

Best Place to Get High in Public

Around Town: Critic's Pick: 4/23/2014
Calendar

Search hundreds of restaurants in our database.

Search hundreds of clubs in our database.

Follow us on Instagram @sacurrent

Print Email

Primal Screen

Fox's 'Touch' = A smoldering Sutherland, pseudo-religious hokum, and a 'magical Negro'

Photo: , License: N/A


Touch (8pm Thu, Fox)

TV networks have always had a weakness for mysticism, from The Twilight Zone to The X-Files to Lost. The trick is to keep the audience from laughing at you — a trick that this new show hasn’t quite mastered. Oh, I admit that the story of a mute boy (David Mazouz) with special powers is watchable, thanks to Kiefer Sutherland’s intense performance as his beleaguered dad. But Touch takes its own mumbo-jumbo so seriously that it’s hard to get through an hour without a few giggles.

The boy is a mathematical genius, and somehow that gives him a supernatural insight into human destiny. He predicts the future and brings together far-flung individuals who “need” to be brought together.

Sutherland is as confused as the viewing audience, so Danny Glover shows up to explain it all. (He’s the series’ “magical Negro,” recently I.D.’d as a preposterous Hollywood type by Saturday Night Live.) Meanwhile, the filmmakers throw in 9/11, Islamic terrorists, a dead child, and any other cheap elements they can think of to raise the stakes.

“Patterns, mathematical in design, are hanging in plain sight,” the boy says in voiceover. “Only a few of us can see the connections.”

The only pattern I perceive is one of TV networks periodically throwing this kind of pseudo-religious hokum against the wall to see if it sticks.

Duck Dynasty (9pm Wed, A&E)

Cable networks are desperately seeking colorful families who pursue unusual livelihoods — exterminators, wild boar hunters, and other eccentrics who can cheaply fill a half-hour of reality TV. In Duck Dynasty, it’s the backwoods Robertson clan, who’ve struck gold by selling their handmade duck calls. Son Willie, the only family member who has obtained a bit of education and dedicated himself to modern business principles, runs the company. The others are unreconstructed hillbillies more interested in hunting frogs than in turning out the duck calls on a tight schedule. Even Willie’s Pappy scoffs at his industriousness. “Willie went off and bought a suit,” he drawls, as if recounting a family tragedy. “He’s a suit man now.”

Pappy seems to have a different notion of “suit” than the rest of us. Willie looks just like the rest of the Robertson men: a huge bushy beard, long stringy hair that’s never seen the inside of a barbershop, and camouflage duds. Nevertheless, the family regards him as a sellout, particularly during a nighttime frog hunt in the swamps. When a huge snake drops from a tree into their boat, Willie jumps into the water to escape.

Pappy can only shake his head in shame. “Too many days in a subdivision. Snakes fall out of trees, you go a-runnin’.”

If I know my American TV audience, I predict they’ll come a-runnin’ to Duck Dynasty. The only people unlikely to be amused are barbers.

We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus