A&E's 'Coma' delivers a hospital of horrors

“This year is just coo-coo crazy!” Katie shouts into the camera.

Isn’t every year coo-coo crazy at the Painted Nail?

Married to Jonas (9pm Sun, E!)
We’re used to reality series featuring loud, obnoxious narcissists, particularly on The Kardashian Channel (aka E!). But what if E! created a reality series featuring a likable person? Someone you looked forward to seeing because she’s so pleasant, rather than so outrageous? Folks, meet Danielle, the sweetheart married to bubblegum pop star Kevin Jonas. Dani (I hope she doesn’t mind if I call her Dani) is well spoken, kindhearted, and self-deprecating. She admits to insecurity in the red-carpet world but does what she must to make Kevin happy.

Call me jealous, but I really don’t think he deserves her. Dani quietly stands up for herself whenever Kevin behaves selfishly or impolitely. Which is way too often.

Depending on how the season plays out, I might propose a new E! reality show to Dani, starring her and me: Married to Robbins. Yeah, I think that has a nice ring to it.

Gallery Girls (9pm Mon, Bravo)
You know how you’ll walk into a Manhattan gallery, and the beautiful young woman at the desk ignores you as if you’re worthless scum? And you hate yourself for being so paranoid? This new reality series proves that you aren’t paranoid after all. That beautiful young woman really does think you (and everybody else who isn’t rich and powerful) are worthless scum.

Gallery Girls burrows into the subculture of opportunists trying to get a leg up in the art world. The women are snobby and shallow, maintaining a high school level of maturity in their 20s. “Like, I’m not gonna be here if they’re, like, rude!” sneers haughty heiress Liz at one of the endless parties the gallery hangers-on throw to see and be seen.

If the gallery girls are insufferable, the gallery owners are even worse. The porcine Eli Klein gets his kicks by bossing around an endless parade of pretty interns, going so far as to make them stir his coffee.

Does it sound like I hate Gallery Girls? Actually, I love it. These people are incredibly fun to hate as they look down on the “commoners” (yes, someone really uses that term). Being able to laugh at them from the comfort of your couch feels like the revenge of the worthless scum.