Trending
MOST READ
\'Most Naked Woman\' Set to Shimmy at San Antonio Burlesque Festival

'Most Naked Woman' Set to Shimmy at San Antonio Burlesque Festival

Food & Drink: The answer came unanimously without prompting or hesitation, as if sent straight from the sexually liberated goddess of... By Melanie Robinson 7/30/2014
Beaches Be Trippin\': Five Texas Coast Spots Worth the Drive

Beaches Be Trippin': Five Texas Coast Spots Worth the Drive

Arts & Culture: Let’s face it, most of us Lone Stars view the Texas coast as a poor man’s Waikiki. Hell, maybe just a poor man’s Panama Beach — only to be used... By Callie Enlow 7/10/2013
Pub: Stay Golden Social House

Pub: Stay Golden Social House

Flavor 2014: Puro meets Pearl-adjacent at this laidback joint that packs a punch with seriously delicious cocktails... 7/29/2014
Chicken with a Cult Following at Pollos Asados

Chicken with a Cult Following at Pollos Asados

Food & Drink: It’s late on a Sunday morning, and the crowd that will soon fill Pollos Asados is just beginning to dribble in. Outside, the smoke from... By Ron Bechtol 7/30/2014
Richard Linklater on \'Boyhood,\' a Film Literally 12 Years in the Making

Richard Linklater on 'Boyhood,' a Film Literally 12 Years in the Making

Screens: While most people would call writer/director Richard Linklater’s new independent movie 'Boyhood' one of the film industry’s most ambitious projects... By Kiko Martínez 7/30/2014
Calendar

Search hundreds of restaurants in our database.

Search hundreds of clubs in our database.

Follow us on Instagram @sacurrent

Print Email

Swiss Army Robot

Gay wizards stirring up marriage equality and superstorms

So where’s all this sanctity I keep hearing about?

It all comes down to equality and insecurity. People are against gay marriage mostly because they feel it lessens the value of their own marriage. Guess what — your marriage is unimportant. It’s none of my business who you sex up at night (and I certainly don’t care that you’re registered at Target, newlyweds. Go buy your own fucking shit).

Legalize gay marriage and you’ll actually find that most homosexuals don’t even want to tie the knot (they really just want to combine their love of parties and decorating). Can you blame them? I don’t think I’m all on my own in this, but

I honestly think that all these Republicans yelling about the “sanctity of marriage” are really just gay spies trying to protect their awesome promiscuous lifestyle from the ravages of marriage “equality.” It would certainly explain why they keep getting caught in scandal-making homosexual rendezvous.

Even those who allegedly hate homosexuality should be working to legalize gay unions. I mean if you really want to stop two people from giving each other blowjobs I can think of no better institution than marriage to accomplish this feat.

There’s no magic in that bedroom.

We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus