Finally, I must ask: Do Latino immigrants really need to master English? Isn’t it possible to create capital and business opportunities, to create communities, in a strictly Spanish-speaking context? Many major corporations already attempt to cater to our market, the largest ethnic group in the U.S. Other ethnicities do the same, don’t they?

— Hasta la Madre en Sta. Bárbara

Dear Wab: Usually, I ask readers to chop down their preguntas as much as possible — we can’t regulate our borders, but we can sure as hell protect against run-on sentences — but yours was an eloquent-enough rant to sneak in, and raises many interesante points. As a court interpreter, you know the difference between legal and colloquial English, so I suggest you treat Spanish the same — I doubt you ask for prayer when demanding your breakfast bill. Besides, what kind of a boring world would we live in if proper language governed how we spoke? That’s right: France. And of course Latinos should learn English — remember, it’s the bilinguals who’ll rule the world, and the monolinguals who’ll get left behind. Just look at what’s happening to gabachos in our global economy …

GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK: Spanglish — not the horrible Adam Sandler movie, but the language. Long viva mongrel tongues! Abajo with custodians of Cervantes, Shakespeare, and Flaubert!

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