Augie Meyers on Kissing Death Goodbye and the Eternal Hustle
Published: November 27, 2013
In typical Meyers fashion, he closes this chapter of his story drolly. “I figured heaven wasn’t ready for me and hell was afraid I’d take over,” said Meyers.
Now Meyers is back in the saddle, with a vengeance. He’s still looking for a place to show his stand-up comedy, even though his favorite venue no longer exists.
“I wanted to do it at Casbeers [at the Church],” said Meyers. “I was on tour and, when I came back, it was closed. I liked that place. The audience was right there in front of you and the acoustics were really nice, so I’m looking for another place. I got all my jokes written down.”
Written down, and ready to be deployed in any situation. When the topic changes to his new habits (he says he no longer gets high, he hasn’t had a drink in six years and now only drinks coffee, without brandy, when he sits at the piano), he encourages me to quit smoking.
“If you want to quit and you have your mind to it, you quit,” he said. “If you want to quit smoking you use a patch, and if you’re a sex addict you need a patch on your balls.” Then, the punchline: “They call it ‘Dickotine.’”
He plans to continue touring on the strength of Loves Lost and Found, but he’s already actively pursuing the mariachi album (for which he’ll shoot a video in the next few weeks). He’s also written a few blues songs.
“I write in spurts,” he said. “My last two albums were country, but now I’m doing mariachi and blues, and I finally finished a song for Sarah.”
Don’t tell me you finished…
“Yes, I did.”
The song is called “You Used To Be On My Mind But Now You Just Get On My Nerves,” a track he once told me he’d write for his wife. “She heard it and she likes it.”
It goes a little something like this: “You used to be on my mind but now you just get on my nerves/ you used to look so fine/ but now you’re running out of curves.”
Sarah is game, but I told Meyers I strongly disagree: she hasn’t run out of anything, with all due respect.
He smiled. “I just did it for the record.”
Then there’s the book, tentatively titled Augiesms: Thoughts to Think About.
“I’m trying to get it finished before the end of the year,” he said. “One-liners, sometimes two-liners, just things I write.”
He offered a few examples. “One of my mottos in life is, ‘I want the most, I expect the least, I appreciate what I get, and I run like hell with it,’” Meyers recited. “You know … My grandfather used to tell me years ago: ‘If you don’t have time to get it right the first time, when are you going to find time to do it over?’ Stuff like that. ‘How come it always breaks when you’re broke?’”
Someone once said that the problem with the world is that the intelligent (or talented) are full of doubts, while the idiots are full of certainties. This applies to Meyers: he still can’t pinpoint “Augie’s sound.”
“I just played in Louisiana [in October] and some girl and her cousin drove all the way from North Carolina,” he said. “They told me they listen to everything, the Dylan albums, the ones with Doug Sahm, Tom Waits … ‘But we want to see you, in person, play your sound.’”
> Email Enrique Lopetegui