College Issue 2014
The Conundrum of Starting College in a Relationship
Published: August 18, 2014
A looming question hanging over your head when you start college is whether to stay with your high-school boyfriend or girlfriend or call it quits. Everyone’s situation is different: either you’re moving away, growing apart or trying to make the relationship work. Whatever the situation, it’s never easy. So here are some tips to consider when making that tough decision:
Think it out
Before you do anything, take a moment to sit down and delve into the inner depths of YOU. You’re starting a new chapter in your life, which can be emotional. Whether you’re leaving or you don’t have time for anyone, it’s tempting to be nice and make someone feel better without prioritizing yourself. You need to ask yourself if you’re going to be OK with a monogamous relationship with someone you rarely see.
Visit your college without your significant other. This way, you’ll get a feel for what it’s like on a day-to-day basis. Plus, you’ll meet a few people, which is a great way to discover the types of students that you’ll be spending your first year with. When you go to orientation, it’s much easier to imagine college life instead of wondering about it from home. This will help you picture how (or if) you’re going to keep in touch with your sweetheart.
Don’t be a two-timer
Now you’ve got your groove. Maybe you’re even crushing on the guy who works behind the coffee counter or the girl in your comp class. Be cautious. If you start developing crushes while you’re still with your BF/GF, that’s going to tempt you and you’ll be a jerk if you leave them in the dark. If you want to be with someone else, be honest and break up. No one likes a cheater.
The conversation is hard, but it must happen (and NOT via text message!). Talking with your sweetheart about staying together or breaking up when you plan for college isn’t easy. But tell the truth and don’t hide your feelings. And if you’re on the other side of that talk, be open-minded. Starting college is a big change and can be hard, so being upfront with your honey is important.