The archetypal students, and how to handle them
Published: August 29, 2012
Thin, bright coat of eyeliner contrasted with stark red eyes
Oversized Joy Division T-shirt (beneath a hemp baja hoodie in the winter months)
Thrift store jeans or long, flowing skirt
Sandals or Converse tennis shoes
Accessories: glass chillum, eye drops, hacky-sack, potent-smelling Ziploc bag
Common questions: "What?"
Academic habits: Surprisingly, often shows up to class and appears totally absorbed, but confuses professor when she flunks a simple test then explains she thought (for several weeks) the class was on a different subject.
Often found: Blissed-out in her dorm room atop a pile of avant-garde magazines, or harshed-out in the cafeteria by the bogus food with her headphones on.
iPod playlist: Sublime, Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, Wiz Khalifa, stock nature sounds.
Key words: "Dude," "peace," "Kush," "I forgot."
Pros: Relatively free with bud, won't raid your beer.
Cons: Won't wear shoes unless forced to. Won't remember who you are the next time you see her.
How to bluff: Tell her about your attempts to get a medical card, or repeat her pro-legalization arguments back to her.