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Strangest bartender stories

Photo: Alex Fine, License: N/A

Alex Fine


The owner grabs Kummins away from customers waiting four deep and points to the new employee staring at a drinks list and growls "find out what she needs." The befuddled blonde says she's looking for a drink called the William Wall. A puzzled Kummins asks her what's in it and gets nowhere so she approaches the customer and asked him what he needs.

"I'm William Wall. I'd just like to close out my tab."

No flushing required

The most common bartender tales involve bodily fluids. If you're eating, move on to the next story, and mark this segment for later reading.

Kummins, now a manager at The Faust Hotel and Brewing Co., recalls moving to New Braunfels for a job where Thursday nights were typically slow. She was unaware that Thursday night during the 10-day Wurstfest celebration is college night and comes with hordes of after-party revelers.

The Bud Light tap broke from vigorous use and she had to find a hammer to slam it back in place to stop the spewing beer, even as customers were piling up, and before backup bartenders arrive. At the end of the night, the men's room was covered in puke except for the toilet. "You could eat off that toilet. We hosed everything down and had to scrub every inch, but the toilet," she says. "But I made like $500 that night, so it was cool."

Danielle Mendoza, a bartender at a popular bar on Fredericksburg Road, says her strangest moment at the bar was when a credit card was declined on a $200 tab. All but the card holder bailed out quickly. The remaining man tried to make a run for it, but was cut off by the door man, an intimidating mixed martial arts practitioner. Fright caused him to lose control of bowels, bladder, and esophagus simultaneously.

"People say crazy things all the time. You get used to that," Mendoza said. "But this was just (makes a stunned expression) like, 'I'm not cleaning that up.'"

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