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Arts & Culture

Savage Love: The Coast

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Is it inappropriate for me to flirt and attempt to have an affair with a married coworker?

Yep. Affairs with married coworkers are hot in theory and messy in practice. I would urge you to be careful—and considerate. Maybe this guy is dying to cheat on his wife, maybe he’s looking for someone to cheat with, but if you sense that he really, really wants to stay faithful and your flirtatious attentions are (1) torture for him but (2) harder and harder to resist, do him, his wife, and your karma a favor and go fuck someone else.


What ground rules should be set for a friends-with-benefits situation?


The most important ground rule: Be friends. Too many people are pointedly unfriendly to their FWBs because they don’t want their FWBs “getting the wrong idea,” i.e., they don’t want their FWBs to think they might be interested in something more serious. The result? Lots of FWB situations are all B and no F. No friendly gestures (friends sometimes give each other gifts), no friendly assistance (friends sometimes help each other move), no friendly concern (friends are there for each other during a crisis). Don’t want your FWB to get the wrong idea about your intentions? Use your words to tell your FWB that a serious romance isn’t in the cards. Then make a good-faith effort to be a friend to your FWB.

How can I go about financial domination in a smart way? (I’m a 19-year-old girl and I’m looking to Dom.)

Most men who submit to financial domination—making cash gifts to a Dom—expect a little something in return: some attention, some pictures, maybe a Skype session now and then. Be warned: Once your images are out there, they’re out there. And an angry, vindictive “sub” might post your pictures online, or a careless sub could lose his computer and someone else could steal and post your photos or web chats.

Any plans to retire?

Give up an advice column? No way. It’s too sweet a gig. They’ll have to pry my column from my cold, dead hands just like they pried Ann Landers’ column from hers.

How do I make cum taste better?

“Cum” is not a word. We don’t have three-letter alternate spellings for other four-letter words that have sexual and nonsexual meanings. You wouldn’t write “I know this guy who sucks and he’s a mean dick, but he’s so fucking hot, I want to suk his dik.” So there’s no need to misspell “come” to give it a sexual connotation. The proper spelling works just fine. But in answer to your question: Come is an acquired taste. No one likes Guinness the first time they drink it, right? But soon you’re happily knocking back pints of the stuff. Same goes for come.

My partner is a neat freak and a control freak in everyday life, but in bed she’s a whore. Is this normal?

Nope, but it sounds awesome—dirty sex is always more fun in a spotlessly clean apartment.

Is it true that some men like a finger in the butt during a blowjob?


It is true that some men like a finger in the butt during a blowjob. Some men like two fingers, some like more. Some men like it in the butt generally. How to determine if the man you’re blowing likes a finger in the butt? Take his dick out of your mouth and ask.

What’s the best place to make love?

In the butt. (Individual results may vary.)

Thanks, Halifax, for such a great evening. And congrats to Kyle and Christine and everyone at the Coast on 20 great years!

The new Savage Lovecast season starts October 22 at savagelovecast.com.

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