Trending
MOST READ
Best Bar Trivia Night

Best Bar Trivia Night

Best of SA 2013: 4/24/2013
Best Brunch

Best Brunch

Best of SA 2013: 4/24/2013
Beaches Be Trippin\': Five Texas Coast Spots Worth the Drive

Beaches Be Trippin': Five Texas Coast Spots Worth the Drive

Arts & Culture: Let’s face it, most of us Lone Stars view the Texas coast as a poor man’s Waikiki. Hell, maybe just a poor man’s Panama Beach — only to be used... By Callie Enlow 7/10/2013
Best Place to Live Downtown

Best Place to Live Downtown

Best of 2013: 4/24/2013
Alamo Colleges Barely Passed Its Own Accountability Test

Alamo Colleges Barely Passed Its Own Accountability Test

News: After months of passionate protest, petitions and public forums, faculty, students and administration of the five Alamo Community Colleges let out a sigh of... By Mary Tuma 4/16/2014
Calendar

Search hundreds of restaurants in our database.

Search hundreds of clubs in our database.

Follow us on Instagram @sacurrent

Print Email

Arts & Culture

Savage Love: The clit’s the thing

Photo: , License: N/A


DEAR READERS: Sophia Wallace, the NYC-based conceptual artist behind the amazing Cliteracy project, was a guest on my podcast recently. (To hear our conversation, go to savagelovecast.com and look up episode 371.) During our chat, Wallace told me that a column I wrote years ago about the importance of the clit had a big impact on her as a teenager—in fact, she still had the copy of the column that she had clipped out of the newspaper. I’m reprinting that column this week for three solid reasons: Ignorance about the clit is still rampant (hence the importance of Wallace’s work), reprinting the column allows me to plug Wallace’s work (check it out at sophiawallace.com) and it’s Christmas and I’m taking the week off. For newer readers: Letter writers addressed me as “Hey, Faggot” for the first few years. These days, of course, only my husband talks to me that way. Happy New Year!

Hey, Faggot: My question involves my present girlfriend and ex-girlfriend, as I’ve had the same problem with both. Both say I am a good lover. Lovemaking sessions have lasted hours. However, neither could have an orgasm via intercourse alone. They can each come in a second by masturbation, and in minutes from oral sex. They say they’ve come very close during intercourse with me. They also say I shouldn’t worry. But if I didn’t worry about it, wouldn’t I be one of those guys women complain about all the time? I’m beginning to get a complex. I wonder what I’m doing wrong. I wonder if they would be more satisfied if they were with someone better endowed. During intercourse, I feel myself becoming discouraged: I think that she will never enjoy this as much as I do, and sometimes these thoughts have caused me to go soft in the middle of the act. Please tell me what to do.
—Brooklyn

Hey, Brooklyn: Your desire not to be “one of those guys women complain about all the time” is commendable, but it would be more so if you’d bothered to educate yourself about women’s bodies and women’s orgasms before you started fucking women.

News flash: Most women are unable to “have an orgasm via intercourse alone.” Why is this? Because the business end of the clitoris—which plays as central a role in her sexual pleasure as the head of your cock plays in yours—is located outside and above the vagina, not inside and up it. Are you with me? The clitoris is not a joy buzzer at the top of the vaginal canal. It doesn’t matter how big your dick is, how hard your dick is or how far you manage to get it in (OK, those things do matter, but not for the sake of this argument): The clit’s the thing!

While some women’s clits are angled in such a way that bumping and grinding provides enough direct clitoral stimulation to get them off, most are not so conveniently angled, and you actually have to go out of your way to make her orgasms happen. It never ceases to amaze me just how many heterosexual men don’t know these basic vagifacts.

But you needn’t take my word for it. According to Cosmo—my reference for all questions regarding female anatomy, sexual response and makeup—fully 70 percent of women need stimulation above and beyond vaginal intercourse in order to achieve orgasm.

Recently in Arts & Culture
We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus