Trending
MOST READ
Beaches Be Trippin\': Five Texas Coast Spots Worth the Drive

Beaches Be Trippin': Five Texas Coast Spots Worth the Drive

Arts & Culture: Let’s face it, most of us Lone Stars view the Texas coast as a poor man’s Waikiki. Hell, maybe just a poor man’s Panama Beach — only to be used... By Callie Enlow 7/10/2013
Chris Pérez, Selena’s Husband, Faces His Past and Looks Forward, Musically

Chris Pérez, Selena’s Husband, Faces His Past and Looks Forward, Musically

Music: Chris Pérez never saw it coming. “All I ever wanted to do was play guitar,” he told the Current. “I never thought I’d be the subject of an interview... By Enrique Lopetegui 8/28/2013
Chris Perez, husband of slain Tejana icon Selena, tells of romance, suffering

Chris Perez, husband of slain Tejana icon Selena, tells of romance, suffering

Arts & Culture: In one of the final chapters of his book To Selena, With Love (out March 6), Selena's widower Chris Perez mentions that Abraham Quintanilla, his former father-in-law, once... By Enrique Lopetegui 3/7/2012
Veg Out with Earth Burger

Veg Out with Earth Burger

Food & Drink: “Do you want cheese on that?” “Yeah, sure.” “Vegan or organic?” “Um, what? Where am I?” By Jessica Elizarraras 7/23/2014
Best Jogging Trail

Best Jogging Trail

Best of 2013: 4/24/2013
Calendar

Search hundreds of restaurants in our database.

Search hundreds of clubs in our database.

Follow us on Instagram @sacurrent

Print Email

Arts & Culture

Savage Love: Pannies

Photo: , License: N/A


I am an 18-year-old pansexual girl. I’m currently in a relationship with a guy. He is a bit younger, though mature for his age. We get along great, our friends like us together, yada yada yada. He wants to do the waiting until marriage thing for sex. I’m cool with that, less pressure in the relationship. He wants to do this for religious reasons, which I mostly agree with. We met in youth group, after all. Here is the real kink. I lost the big V about a year ago. He knows about that, isn’t happy about it (’cause he hasn’t), but is willing to date me anyway.

What hasn’t really come up is the subject of porn and masturbation. Back to the religious reasons: He doesn’t do either (or won’t fess up to them) and doesn’t approve. I, however, do both. Especially since my breakup (and thus no more sex) last year, I’ve come to rely on masturbating to take care of my sexual needs. The porn I am willing to forgo, but I don’t want to give up pleasuring myself.

This guy knows nothing. He has talked about how we ought to “keep ourselves pure.” (My thoughts on purity: I’ve already screwed that up!) Is there any good way to communicate to him that I’m not going to give up masturbating without him going crazy? It took long enough just to show him I wasn’t the spawn of Satan because I like girls as much as I like guys. Should I just go along with his standards and try giving up masturbation? Or should I not tell him anything about what I do in the privacy of my own bedroom?
—Mismatched On Sex

The best way to communicate to this boy that you aren’t gonna give up masturbation is to break the fuck up with him, MOS. Your boyfriend is essentially forcing you to pick between him or masturbation, and the choice is obvious: Masturbation is a pleasurable friend that doesn’t judge you or shame you, and your boyfriend is an unpleasant, sex-negative, controlling, judgmental scold.

DTMFA.

Then after you’ve enjoyed a few dozen celebratory guilt-free orgasms, MOS, ask yourself why you wasted even two minutes of your precious pansexual time on a guy like him, i.e., someone with whom you’re clearly not sexually compatible. You’re pansexual! Somewhat sexually experienced! You masturbate! You enjoy porn! I could understand you dating a guy who was a virgin and wanted to remain sexually inactive for now—for religious reasons or otherwise—but dating someone you had to talk out of seeing you as the spawn of Satan? Dating someone you have to lie to about something as common and healthy as masturbation? Not worth it, MOS, not in the short run, not in the long run. You want to be with someone who likes you and wants to be with you, and this boy doesn’t like you. Why on earth do you like him?

Finally: I hope that parenthetical in your second paragraph was meant sarcastically. But just in case: Being sexually active does not make you “impure.” I think you know that, MOS, but I want you to get out of this relationship while you still believe it.

On the Lovecast, why divorce rates are so high among religious conservatives: savagelovecast.com.

Recently in Arts & Culture
  • 7 Public Art Projects Worth Searching For You’re likely familiar with the high-profile works of public art on view around downtown San Antonio: the gigantic, red swoop of... | 7/23/2014
  • ‘The Other Side’ Tackles the Impossible: Writing about trauma I didn’t take any notes while reading The Other Side because by the time I paused to pick up a pencil, I was already three-quarters of the way through. And for... | 7/23/2014
  • Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19): A report in the prestigious British medical journal BMJ says that almost one percent of young pregnant women in the U.S. claim to be... | 7/23/2014
We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus