Free Will Astrology
Published: March 19, 2014
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Tibetan mastiff is a large canine species with long golden hair. If you had never seen a lion and were told that this dog was a lion, you might be fooled. And that’s exactly what a zoo in Luohe, China did. It tried to pass off a hearty specimen of a Tibetan mastiff as an African lion. Alas, a few clever zoo-goers saw through the charade when the beast started barking. Now I’ll ask you, Virgo: Is there anything comparable going on in your environment? Are you being asked to believe that a big dog is actually a lion, or the metaphorical equivalent?
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In T. S. Eliot’s poem “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” the narrator seems tormented about the power of his longing. “Do I dare to eat a peach?” he asks. I wonder what he’s thinking. Is the peach too sweet, too juicy, too pleasurable for him to handle? Is he in danger of losing his self-control and dignity if he succumbs to the temptation? What’s behind his hesitation? In any case, Libra, don’t be like Prufrock in the coming weeks. Get your finicky doubts out of the way as you indulge your lust for life with extra vigor and vivacity. Hear what I’m saying? Refrain from agonizing about whether or not you should eat the peach. Just go ahead and eat it.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Born under the sign of Scorpio, Neil Young has been making music professionally for over 45 years. He has recorded 35 albums and is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. In early 1969, three of his most famous songs popped out of his fertile imagination on the same day. He was sick with the flu and running a 103-degree fever when he wrote “Cowgirl in the Sand,” “Cinnamon Girl,” and “Down by the River.” I suspect you may soon experience a milder version of this mythic event, Scorpio. At a time when you’re not feeling your best, you could create a thing of beauty that will last a long time, or initiate a breakthrough that will send ripples far into the future.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There should be nothing generic or normal or routine about this week, Sagittarius. If you drink beer, for example, you shouldn’t stick to your usual brew. You should track down and drink the hell out of exotic beers with brand names like Tactical Nuclear Penguin and Ninja Vs. Unicorn and Doctor Morton’s Clown Poison. And if you’re a lipstick user, you shouldn’t be content to use your old standard, but should instead opt for kinky types like Sapphire Glitter Bomb, Alien Moon Goddess, and Cackling Black Witch. As for love, it wouldn’t make sense to seek out romantic adventures you’ve had a thousand times before. You need and deserve something like wild sacred eternal ecstasy or screaming sweaty flagrant bliss or blasphemously reverent waggling rapture.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Actor Gary Oldman was born and raised in London. In the course of his long career he has portrayed a wide range of characters who speak English with American, German, and Russian accents. He has also lived in Los Angeles for years. When he signed on to play a British intelligent agent in the 2011 film Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, he realized that over the years he had lost some of his native British accent. He had to take voice lessons to restore his original pronunciations. I suspect you have a metaphorically comparable project ahead of you, Capricorn. It may be time to get back to where you once belonged.