Free Will Astrology
Published: March 27, 2013
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your brain has a bigger capacity than you realize. According to professor of psychology Paul Reber, it can hold the equivalent of three million hours’ worth of television shows. As I’m sure you know, your brain is not even close to being full of that much data. And in accordance with the current astrological omens, I suggest you cram in as much new material as possible. APRIL FOOL! I told you a half-truth. While it’s correct that now is an excellent time to pour more stuff into your brain, you should be highly discerning about what you allow in there. Seek out the richest ideas, the most stimulating information, the best stories. Avoid trivial crap.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): July 2012 was a sad time in the history of mythic creatures. The National Ocean Service, a U.S. government agency, made a formal proclamation that there are no such things as mermaids. But I predict those stuffy know-it-alls will soon get a big shock, when a Piscean scientist presents evidence that mermaids are indeed real. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating. I don’t really foresee the discovery of a flesh-and-blood mermaid -- by a Pisces or anyone else. I do, however, suspect that your tribe is now highly adept at extracting useful revelations and inspirations from dreams, visions, and fantasies -- including at least one that involves a coven of Buddhist Ninja clown mermaids.