Trending
MOST READ
4 Downtown Dive Bars to Embarrass Yourself In

4 Downtown Dive Bars to Embarrass Yourself In

City Guide 2014: In the last few years, San Antonio has made great strides when it comes to its mixology doings. Many good (and some great!) cocktail bars have been springing... By Tim Hennessey 2/24/2014
Beaches Be Trippin\': Five Texas Coast Spots Worth the Drive

Beaches Be Trippin': Five Texas Coast Spots Worth the Drive

Arts & Culture: Let’s face it, most of us Lone Stars view the Texas coast as a poor man’s Waikiki. Hell, maybe just a poor man’s Panama Beach — only to be used... By Callie Enlow 7/10/2013
Best Happy Hour

Best Happy Hour

Best of SA 2013: 4/24/2013
Best Guacamole

Best Guacamole

Best of SA 2013: 4/24/2013
SA’s Shadiest (in a good way) Parks

SA’s Shadiest (in a good way) Parks

City Guide 2014: For anyone in charge of a child or two, knowing where to find the nearest playground is information as essential as the numbers for poison control and your pediatrician... By Joy-Marie Scott 2/24/2014
Calendar

Search hundreds of restaurants in our database.

Search hundreds of clubs in our database.

Follow us on Instagram @sacurrent

Print Email

Astrology

Free Will Astrology

Photo: , License: N/A


VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The sport of ferret legging is an endurance contest. Participants vie to determine who can last longest as a live ferret runs loose inside their pants. The current record is five hours and 26 minutes, held by a retired British miner. But I predict that a Virgo will soon break that mark. Could it be you? APRIL FOOL! I misled you. I don’t really think you should put a ferret in your pants, not even to win a contest. It is possible, however, that there will soon be a pleasurable commotion happening in the area below your waist. And I suspect that you will handle it pretty well.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Risk being a crazed fool for love, Libra. Get as wild and extreme as you’ve ever been if it helps you rustle up the closeness you’re hungry for. Get down on your knees and beg, or climb a tree with a megaphone and profess your passion. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating a little. It’s true that now is an excellent time to be aggressive about going after the intimate connection you want. But I suggest you accomplish that by being ingenious and imaginative rather than crazy and extreme.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): British comedy team Monty Python did a sketch in which a policeman apprehends a criminal. The bad guy says, “Yes, I did it, but society is to blame.” And the cop says, “Right! We’ll arrest them instead.” You should adopt this attitude, Scorpio. Blame everyone else but yourself for your problems and flaws. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, the truth is the opposite of what I said. It’s time to take more responsibility for your actions. Bravely accept the consequences of what you’ve done -- with your sense of humor fully engaged and a lot of compassion for yourself.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Banzai skydiving is a step beyond ordinary skydiving. To do it, you hurl your folded-up parachute out of the airplane, wait a while, and then leap into mid-air yourself. If all goes well, you free-fall in the direction of your parachute and catch up to it. Once you grab it, you strap it on and open the chute, ideally before you hit the earth. This is the kind of beyond-ballsy activity that would be perfect for you right now. APRIL FOOL! In truth, I don’t recommend banzai skydiving now or ever. Plain old skydiving is fine, though. The same principle applies in relation to any adventurousness you’re considering: Push yourself, yes, but not to an absurd degree.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Should you relocate to Kazakhstan and grow sunflowers? Is it time to think about getting a job in Uruguay and living there for the next ten years? Can you see yourself building your dream home in Morocco on a bluff overlooking the Atlantic Ocean? I suggest you spend some quality time thinking way, way outside the box about where you belong on this earth. APRIL FOOL! I went a bit overboard in my recommendations. It is true that you should brainstorm about the kind of home you want to create and enjoy in the future. But that probably means revising and refining your current situation rather than leaving it all behind and starting over.

Recently in Arts & Culture
We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus