Free Will Astrology

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): My hotel was nice but the neighborhood where it was located seemed sketchy. As I returned to my room after a jaunt to the convenience store, I received inquiries from two colorfully-dressed hookers whose sales pitches were enticingly lyrical. I also passed a lively man who proposed that I purchase some of his top-grade meth, crack, or heroin. I thanked them all for their thoughtful invitations but said I wasn't in the mood. Then I slipped back into my hotel room to dine on my strawberry smoothie and blueberry muffin as I watched HBO. My experience could have something in common with your immediate future, Virgo. I suspect you may be tempted with offers that seem exotic and adventurous but are not really that good for you. Stick to the healthy basics, please.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A West Coast DJ named Shakti Bliss wrote a remarkable status update on her Facebook page. Here's an edited excerpt: "In the past 24 hours, I did yoga in a bathtub, hauled furniture by myself in the rain, got expert dating advice from an 11-year-old, learned the lindy hop, saw a rainbow over the ocean, had thrift store clothes stolen out of my car by a homeless man, made a magic protection amulet out of a piece of cardboard, was fed quinoa soup by the buffest 50-year-old South African woman I've ever met, bowed to a room full of applause, and watched two of my favorite men slow dance together to Josephine Baker singing in French." I suspect that you Libras will be having days like that in the coming week: packed with poetic adventures. Are you ready to handle more than the usual amount of stimulation and excitement?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Thomas Jefferson, third President of the United States, called himself a Christian. But he also acknowledged that there weren't any other Christians like him. He said he belonged to a sect consisting of one person -- himself. While he admired the teachings of Jesus Christ, he had no use for the supernatural aspects of the stories told in the New Testament. So he created his own version of the Bible, using only those parts he agreed with. Now would be an excellent time for you to be inspired by Jefferson's approach, Scorpio. Is there a set of ideas that appeals to you in some ways but not in others? Tailor it to your own special needs. Make it your own. Become a sect of one.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): "Everyone is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day," said writer Elbert Hubbard. "Wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit." Judging from my personal experience, I'd say that five minutes is a lowball figure. My own daily rate is rarely less than half an hour. But the good news as far as you're concerned, Sagittarius, is that in the coming weeks you might have many days when you're not a damn fool for even five seconds. In fact, you may break your all-time records for levels of wild, pure wisdom. Make constructive use of your enhanced intelligence!