Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19): If you play solitaire, your luck will be crazy strong in the coming weeks. If you have candid, wide-ranging talks with yourself in the mirror, the revelations are likely to be as interesting as if you had spoken directly with the river god or the angel of the sunrise. Taking long walks alone could lead to useful surprises, and so would crafting a new declaration of independence for yourself. It'll also be an excellent time to expand your skills at giving yourself pleasure. Please understand that I'm not advising you to be isolated and lonely. I merely want to emphasize the point that you're due for some breakthroughs in your relationship with yourself.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Are you in possession of a talent or interest or inclination or desire that no one else has? Is there some unique way you express what it means to be human? According to my understanding of the long-term astrological omens, the coming months will be your time to cultivate this specialty with unprecedented intensity; it'll be a window of opportunity to be more practical than ever before in making your signature mark on the world. Between now and your next birthday, I urge you to be persistent in celebrating the one-of-a-kind truth that is your individuality.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "Message in a bottle" is not just a pirate movie cliche. It's a form of communication that has been used throughout history for serious purposes. England's Queen Elizabeth I even appointed an official "Uncorker of Ocean Bottles." And as recently as 2005, a message in a bottle saved the lives of 88 refugees adrift in the Caribbean Sea on a damaged boat. Glass, it turns out, is an excellent container for carrying sea-born dispatches. It lasts a long time and can even survive hurricanes. In accordance with the astrological omens, I nominate "message in a bottle" to be your metaphor for the rest of 2012. Here's one way to apply this theme: Create a message you'd like to send to the person you will be in five years, perhaps a declaration of what your highest aspirations will be between now and then. Write it on paper and stash it in a bottle. Store this time capsule in a place you won't forget, and open it in 2017.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Every 10,000 years or so, reports the Weekly World News, hell actually does freeze over. A rare storm brings a massive amount of snow and ice to the infernal regions, and even the Lake of Fire looks like a glacier. "Satan himself was seen wearing earmuffs and making a snowman," the story says about the last time it happened. I foresee a hell-freezes-over type of event happening for you in the coming months, Cancerian — and I mean that in a good way. The seemingly impossible will become possible; what's lost will be found and what's bent will be made straight; the lion will lie down not only with the lamb but also with the sasquatch. For best results, be ready to shed your expectations at a moment's notice.