Free Will Astrology
Published: November 9, 2011
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It will be a good week to have nice long talks with yourself — the more, the better. The different sub-personalities that dwell within you need to engage in vigorous dialogues that will get all their various viewpoints out in the open. I even recommend coaxing some of those inner voices to manifest themselves outside the confines of your own head — you know, by speaking out loud. If you feel inhibited about giving them full expression where they might be overheard by people, find a private place that will allow them to feel free to be themselves.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): During the reign of President George W. Bush, many Americans viewed France as being insufficiently sympathetic with American military might. So enraged were some conservatives that they tried to change the name of French fries to freedom fries and French toast to freedom toast. The culminating moment in this surrealistic exercise came when Bush told UK's Prime Minister Tony Blair, "The French don't even have a word for entrepreneur" — unaware that "entrepreneur" is a word the English language borrowed from the French. The moral of the story, as far as you're concerned, Libra: Make sure you know the origins of everyone and everything you engage with, especially as they affect your ability to benefit from entrepreneurial influences.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Cunnilinguistic Dicktionary defines the newly coined word "mutinyversal" as "rebellion against the whole universe." I think it would be an excellent time for you to engage in a playful, vivacious version of that approach to life. This is one of those rare times when you have so many unique gifts to offer and so many invigorating insights to unleash, that you really should act as if you are mostly right and everyone else is at least half-wrong. Just one caution: As you embark on your crusade to make the world over in your image, do it with as much humility and compassion as you can muster.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In Mongolia there's a famous fossil of two dinosaurs locked in mortal combat. Forever frozen in time, a Velociraptor is clawing a Protoceratops, which in turn is biting its enemy's arm. They've been holding that pose now for, oh, 80 million years or so. I'm shoving this image in your face, Sagittarius, so as to dare you and encourage you to withdraw from your old feuds and disputes. It's a perfect time, astrologically speaking, to give up any struggle that's not going to matter 80 million years from now. (More info: tinyurl.com/DinosaurFight.)
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): "In your experience, who is the best-smelling actor that you've worked with?" TV host Jon Stewart asked his guest Tom Hanks. "Kevin Bacon," replied Hanks. Why? Not because of the bacon-as-a-delicious-food angle, although that would be funny. "He smells like a mix of baby powder and Listerine," Hanks said. Keep this perspective in mind, Capricorn. I think you should be engaged in a great ongoing quest to put yourself in situations with pleasing aromas. I mean this in both the metaphorical and literal sense. To set yourself up for meaningful experiences that provide you with exactly what you need, follow your nose.