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Free Will Astrology

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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The autocorrect feature sometimes distorts the text messages people send on their smart phones. It tries to fix supposedly misspelled words that aren't really misspelled, thereby creating awkward variations that can cause a ruckus when they're received, like changing "I don't want to leave" to "I don't want to live." Damn You, Autocorrect! is a book documenting some of the most outrageous examples, many NSFW. Be vigilant for metaphorical versions of this wayward autocorrect phenomenon, Virgo. Be sure that in your efforts to make things better, you don't render them worse or weird. Consider the possibility that stuff is fine just the way it is.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Meraki is a Greek word that refers to the bliss you feel when you're engaged in a task that's important to you and that you're doing really well. It's your theme right now, Libra. According to my reading of the astrological omens, everything's in place for you to experience meraki in abundance. Furthermore, that's exactly what your destiny is pushing for. So please get out there and do everything you can to cooperate: Make this a meraki-filled week.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your nightly dreams provide useful clues about your waking life. They can show you hidden patterns and unconscious motivations that your daytime mind hasn't noticed. On rare occasions, they may even offer more literal guidance. That's what happened for David Brown, a British man who one morning woke up from a dream of seeing a mysterious phone number. As an experiment, he sent a text message to that very number: "Did I meet you last night?" Michelle Kitson, the stranger on the other end, responded with a text, and then Brown texted back. More exchanges ensued, followed by a face-to-face encounter, and eventually the two were married. I can't guarantee anything quite as dramatic for you, Scorpio, but I do expect your dreams will be unusually helpful.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In addition to reading your astrological omens, I did a Tarot reading, consulted the I Ching, and threw the runes. They all gave me the same message: The coming week would be a good time for you to spend quality time mulling over the Biggest Mystery of Your Life. It's not mandatory that you do so. You won't cause a disaster if you refuse. Still, wouldn't it be fun? Life is inviting you to get re-excited about your personal version of the quest for the Holy Grail. Your future self is calling and calling and calling for you to dive into the ancient riddle you've been working on since before you were born. The mists are parting.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In Sue Allison's theater piece "Lies I've Told," two actors take turns telling each other some classic whoppers. Here are a few: 1. "It would be no trouble at all." 2. "This will only take a second." 3. "I didn't get your message." 4. "I have no idea how that got here." 5. "I thought you said 'the 16th.'" 6. "Would I lie to you?" See if you can avoid fibs like those, Capricorn. I'm not asking you to be a superstar of candor — that's unrealistic — but I do encourage you to cut back on white lies and casual dishonesties as much as possible. This is a time when you really need to know the whole truth and nothing but. And the best way to work toward that goal is to be forthright yourself. That's how karma operates.

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