Trending
MOST READ
Easy Green: 10 quick ways to make money in college

Easy Green: 10 quick ways to make money in college

College Issue 2014: Sell clothes. Plato’s Closet is a great place to take your gently worn apparel in exchange for cold, hard cash. They accept clothes, shoes and... By Brittany Minor 8/18/2014
SAPD Issues Thousands of Tickets for Homelessness

SAPD Issues Thousands of Tickets for Homelessness

News: Data and records obtained by the Current show that between January 1, 2013, and early October of this year the San Antonio... By Alexa Garcia-Ditta and Elaine Wolff 10/22/2014
6 Sinfully Good Grilled Cheese Sandwiches in SA

6 Sinfully Good Grilled Cheese Sandwiches in SA

Food & Drink: Cheesy Jane’s. Multiple locations, cheesyjanes.com. If the name is any indicator, this San Antonio staple doesn’t mess around when it comes to... By Tommie Ethington 10/22/2014
Alamo Ice House Brings Hill Country to Downtown

Alamo Ice House Brings Hill Country to Downtown

Food & Drink: There was a special kind of draw at Alamo Ice House on a recent Tuesday evening. A handful of weeks after opening its... By Jessica Elizarraras 10/22/2014

Best Local Artist

Best of SA 2013: 4/24/2013
Calendar

Search hundreds of restaurants in our database.

Search hundreds of clubs in our database.

Follow us on Instagram @sacurrent

Print Email

ASK A MEXICAN

¡Ask a Mexican!

Photo: , License: N/A


Dear Mexican: I live in La Habra, and I’ve noticed that the local Mexicans have a real affinity for palm trees — the more, the better. Some houses have over 50 planted in a 10x20 front yard, so many you can’t see the house. What’s up with this? Is this some kind of Mexican status symbol?
– The Crazy Gringa

Dear Loca Gabacha: It’s a reminder of—take your pick—Palm Sunday, a Mexican’s home state, the beach, the beauty of nature, the eternal Mexican propensity to turn anything into a business, or to buy better weapons and no longer rely on fronds for your shivs.

My boss, a gringo, questioned me on the choice of words I used in an ad that I wrote in a local grocery retailer magazine. The article informed the reader that my company is now supplying a product that many of the customers that shop at their stores had grown up on. I stated, “We can now expand our product offerings to your Mexican customers.” My boss took exception to this statement and thought it might be offensive to Mexicans. I hope that it was not in anyway offensive to our neighbors to the south and those living here in the States. Was my boss being overly sensitive or did I indeed use the wrong choice of words?
– A Proud American

Dear Gabacho: Both. Your jefe must be clueless about the billions of spending dollars controlled by Mexican consumers in the United States, a market that’ll be loyal to a brand for life for even the most nominal of nods — witness the Mexican affinity for gabacho beer companies for their sponsorship of soccer teams and Vicente Fernández tours. And your sentence, to quote The Elements of Style, is una pinche porquería. You should’ve written “We know Mexis. Give us more mucho dinero, pendejos.” Attracting the Mexican dollar isn’t something hard; hard is trying to imagine Mexico winning the FIFA World Cup at some point in this millennium.

How can I explain to a Mexican to pay the printed price and value of the product without hurting feelings?
– Let’s Not Make a Deal

Dear Gabacho: You can’t — haggling is as ingrained into the Mexican psyche as hating the United States. And it ain’t just Mexis who won’t accept the printed price — read the memoirs of the children of immigrants over the, oh, last 150 years in this country. But cry me a río about making people pay the value of the product. You bought your merchandise at a reduced, wholesale price gracias to your business license, which allows you to mark up that price and make a profit. The producer, in turn, marked the price up for you so they could make a profit. That gabachos still insist on paying an arbitrary price for something despite it being inflated to nearly twice its actual value is the biggest question that the Mexican has about gabachos after the allure of Friends.

During the Iraq invasion, a Mexican guy at work said that every extended Mexican family has one person that looks just like Saddam Hussein. Are you the Saddam in your family?
– Gin Rummy

Dear Gabacho: No, I’m the Saladin.

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano, or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

Recently in Arts & Culture
  • SA Design Maven D’Ette Cole and the Topography of Junk D’Ette Cole has been an artist, interior designer, antiques dealer and even a pie. Simply put, she notices everything, and has built her career on... | 10/22/2014
  • Failure Is Not an Option: George Lopez returns to SA It is evident comedian George Lopez is still a little sensitive about the on-again, off-again relationship he’s had with television. Whatever the... | 10/22/2014
  • Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19): The driest place on the planet is the Atacama Desert in northern Chile. It gets about a half-inch of rain per year. And yet in 2011, archaeologists discovered that it’s also home to a site containing the fossilized skeletons of nu | 10/22/2014
We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus