¡ASK A MEXICAN!

— Yankee Hipsters Go Home!

Dear Wab: Gotta pay our respect to our veteranos — they can ramble as awesomely as any gabacho at a retirement home! I think what you’re complaining about is the gentrification of historically Mexican neighborhoods by hipsters, a phenomenon happening everywhere from Denver to Los Angeles, SanTana to Chicago and beyond. It’s important to fight the encroachment of pendejos with no ties to the area who start demanding changes — get rid of quinceañera shops, of crowing roosters, of cars parked on lawns or corn grown in the backyard and nopales in the front. At the mismo time, though, raza really angry with gentrification should practice gente-fication, the process of young locals getting over their pocho complex opening their own businesses to pump enough money back into the area so that city bureaucrats don’t have any excuse to use the ruse of redevelopment on raza. Think of that strategy as our economic Mexican-American War — and if there are hipsters who are respectful of the old guard, like the San Patricios that joined our side against the invading Yankees so long ago, then I say embrace their ranks, pound a PBR with them, and teach them the secrets of scaring insufferable hipsters away from the barrio by blasting Banda El Recodo at all hours of the noche.

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