Trending
MOST READ
Best Hookah Bar

Best Hookah Bar

Best of SA 2013: 4/24/2013
Beaches Be Trippin\': Five Texas Coast Spots Worth the Drive

Beaches Be Trippin': Five Texas Coast Spots Worth the Drive

Arts & Culture: Let’s face it, most of us Lone Stars view the Texas coast as a poor man’s Waikiki. Hell, maybe just a poor man’s Panama Beach — only to be used... By Callie Enlow 7/10/2013
Best Coffee Shop

Best Coffee Shop

Best of SA 2013: 4/24/2013
5 Awesome Ways to Survive on Ramen

5 Awesome Ways to Survive on Ramen

College Guide 2013: Nearly every college student has lived off of ramen noodles at one point or another. What a lot of them didn’t know was that the classic just-add-water... By Mary Caithn Scott 8/20/2013
Best Karaoke Night

Best Karaoke Night

Best of SA 2013: 4/24/2013
Calendar

Search hundreds of restaurants in our database.

Search hundreds of clubs in our database.

Follow us on Instagram @sacurrent

Print Email

ASK A MEXICAN

¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Photo: , License: N/A


Dear Mexican: It’s so sad to see your wimpy answers. Your replies scream self-hatred and self-shame for your raza. You’re pathetic! No plan or desire to fix Mexico’s problems. You’re a puto with no huevos. My DREAM Act would be that you Mexicans would stop groveling to gringos, and scream about fixing Mexico, like WHITE PEOPLE did against the Iron Curtain thing. ONLY THEN will your Mexican self-shaming and self-hatred of your un-macho, puto, groveling raza change to real pride, which you know you deserve, like gringos got about America.

— Groveling is Puto Stuff

Dear Gabacho: Groveling? Chulo, this is the only column in the country that refers to gabachos as gabachos instead of the candy-ass “gringo” like your gabacho ass uses. No desire to fix Mexico? What’s billions of dollars of remittances, then — or the Reconquista, for that matter? Or those marches of millions rallying for amnesty? That’s a movement as epic as Solidarity or glasnost (and last I checked, a chingo of Eastern Bloc refugees worked from los Estados Unidos to liberate their homelands). Pride for America? All I hear from Know Nothings is how horrible the U.S. is, yet they do nothing to improve it other than rant — they sound just like Mexicans used to until we started doing instead of crying. Self-hatred and self-shame? The only thing this Mexican is ashamed of is his panza — and even then, it’s a panza more glorious in its contentment and fire than any gabacho panza can ever hope to attain. Huevos that, pendejo.

Cada día me and my perro Manchas go for an afternoon walk in this North Denver parque. We often pass the gringo gentry who are temporarily “improving” the neighborhood as an investment. You know how the gentry are — they move into the barrio but send their precious güeritos to the charter schools so they won't get piojos from our kids or wind up pregnant with half-brown babies. Anyway, I swear, every time me and Manchas pass one of these purebred, hyper-trained gentry dogs, the owners pull their pinches perros away from mine so they can't sniff cola or . . . you know. He's a  “purebred” Australian Cattle Dog (simón, a canine mestizo) and came off a reservation. But I bathe him once a year, brush him daily — más o menos —and he doesn't even have piojos. Me, either.

I guess my question is: how can the gentry know that he's Spanish — surnamed, bilingual and mestizo, since they've even never talked to us? And is there anything I can do so Manchas doesn't grow up with a pocho complex and think he's inferior to a gringo's dog?

We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus