Dear Readers: Your faithful Mexican is putting the final touches on his coming magnum opus, Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America (out April 2012) and is thus at the rancho, getting handmade tortillas made by his chica in pigtails while he works on rewrites. But instead of a Best Of columna, I’ve decided to print excerpts from one of my all-time favorite reader interactions. Remember back in 2007, when I asked ustedes who are half-Mexican and half-something else to tell us what you call yourselves? The brilliant, hilarious responses offered show how genius the Mexi brain truly is. Space doesn’t allow your local rag to print all the responses, but below are just some of the best. You can find the full list online — in the meanwhile, enjoy and see you in una semana!

If you’re half-Mexican and ...

Half-African: Afrijoles

Half-anything: Inbetweener-beaner

Half-Arab: Garbanzo beaner, America’s worst nightmare

Half-Armenian: Armexian

Half-Australian: Aussican, Dingoles (say like frijoles), Fosters Especial, Mexi-roo, Ortegamite, Wallican

Half-Black: Black beans, Blaxican, Bro-Vato, Choco-Taco, Choligger, Mack, Mexiblack, Mexicoon, Negrexican, Tino Noir, Watermexican, Wetblack

Half-British: Limey beans

Half-Cajun: Bayou Beaner, Mexi-Gumbo, Mexicajun, Red Beans & Rice

Half-Canadian: Canexican

Half-Caribbean: Carribeaner

Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, Combination Plate, Mexinese, rice ’n’ beans, soy bean

Half-Colombian: Skakirikan

Half-Costa Rican: Mextica (“tico” is a nickname for Costa Ricans)

Half-Creole: Creolican

Half-Croatian: Cro-Mex

Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian

Half-Eskimo: Mexkimo

Half-Filipino: ChicaPina (for Chicana and Pinay, which is a Tagalog slang term for Filipina), Chilipino, Filixan, Filitino, Flipamex, Flippican, JalaPinoy, Mexipino

Half-French: Frenchican

Half-Gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Chicangüera, Gabaxicano, GMC (Gringo-Mexico cross), Güerexican, Latinglo, Mexiglos, Mixican, Pochingo (half-pocho, half-gringo), Whispanic, white bean

Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, chili kraut, Germexican, wiener beaner

Half-Greek: Greexican, Grec-Mex, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever).

Half-Guamanian: Chamexorro (Guam natives are called Chamorros), Guamexican

Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapínis a nickname for Guatemalans), Guacamex.

> Email Gustavo Arellano